After my mammogram today I rushed home to wait for days on the results. Should know something by Monday, they say. I know Im just over reacting but after the first few tit shots the mammographer (is that what their called?) says "Well, its probably just a cyst but I might need to take a few more pictures. Just depends on what I see here." So while Im sitting in my lovely pink front-tie hospital shirt waiting for the boob ultra sound gal, here comes my mammographer again. Apparently she needed the other two pictures. So- here I go. It wasnt enough to get the vertical smash pic and the horizontal smash pic but my lump also warranted the diagonal super smashorama snapshot. Not comforting. The ultrasound girl did finally arrive but that was even less comforting. She had me put my clothing in the adjoining bathroom and I took one look in there and almost ran out- pink hospital shirt, boobs peaking out and all. It looked like something out of the Saw movies in there complete with rust smeared, dripping sink and scary old toilet with a broken handle. The floor was ripped up even! Then she wasnt even sure what she was looking at. She kept saying "where is it?" and "Are you sure its still there?" oi vay
Archive for April, 2008|Monthly archive page
Below is a video from ABC News about how the future includes much more telecommuting positions.
It is from an article here– that has many useful links and telecommuting job leads. If you want to work from home- check it out.
The Small-Steps Method « Seagrave’s Weblog I thought this was a pretty rockin' post on how to get writing. Its for screenwriters but I thought it was totally relevant elsewhere. Anywho- here I am blog surfing instead of working on the 18K words due to the editor on Wednesday. Anyone know of an article on that?
The doctor said it was most likely a cyst in my boobie and scheduled me for a mashogram on Tuesday. Always a joy. I have a birthday party for next to smallest male child tomorrow. Sigh.. How can I get 20K words written by Wednesday? How, how, how? We are back to schedule, aren’t we? The bane of my existence. I believe someone should develop a way of scheduling that involves no scheduling whatsoever. Write a book called something like How to Get Everything on Your to do List Done Without Actually Trying or very similar. I once interviewed the very talented Joanna Fluke. She writes very cute and savvy mysteries about a baker, Hannah Swensen who solves murder mysteries in her little country town. She told me that she couldnt write her novels until her children were grown and out of the house. Hm... Completely coincidentally- I just remembered that back in my twenties some friends and I saw a card reader one night. She told me I would have some measure of success in my later years. Geesh, I forgot about that. Is it later?
I thought this was a really interesting article.
That is probably a terrible thing to say but I think I’ve driven myself insane. I have worried about this lump in my breast for days. I was up so late last night thinking about it that I was up early this morning. I just laid there staring at DH and Whistle britches, the littlest DS sleeping away.
“I wonder if it would hurt if I touched it. No, I better not push it. That might make something bad happen. Like what? If its cancer its already bad. Yeah but what if it breaks?”
Something like that over and over. So I finally get up at dawn and proof the articles I had to write and sent them in. I now have the second round of 20K due to my editor by next Wednesday. So Ive been steadily plugging away at that. Every time my mind wanders to the lumpy breast area I think of some intricate formula Im having to convey for the lay person.
Im setting goals like 3000 words before I can get my next cup of coffee etc. Just to stay focused on something besides my boobs. Tomorrow I can go to the doctor and find out if Im dieing or not.
I found a lump in my breast.
I found it Sunday and I have thought about nothing else. I think about it when Im cooking and cleaning and reading and working.
My friends have assured me that it isnt always cancer. A lump can be anything. It hurts. Is that a good sign?
My mother died almost two years ago from cancer and I am still devastated. I thin about how it will effect my kids to lose me at these young ages. I dont want to leave them.
I am aware of how that sounds but I got the oddest sense of nostalgia today.
I was pumping gas and looked around and got a big whiff of something. Just some smell floating by but it suddenly put me back to a day with parents on a trip to visit my grandparents in their big house on Clark Street in Hobart, Indiana.
I really felt for a nanosecond that I was there. But just a nanosecond. Then I got all teared up and realized I wasnt on my way to visit grandma and grandpa and Im all grown up now and that can suck.
I wish I knew what smell triggered that memory. Id keep it around the house like an air freshener.
In preparation for the busy upcoming work week I had an inspirational idea this morning. I always fix a huge breakfast for my family on Sundays. So while mixing sawmill gravy this morning it decided a new trick in the kids chores arena.
In between bacon and biscuits I printed out a Chore Chart and then something I started calling Bonus Bucks which were little dollars bills printed in varying denominations with the kids faces on them.
Each chore they did on the list earned them a bonus buck which they can then in turn use to purchase computer time, Disney Chanel, a free pass on broccoli or staying up an extra hour. Pretty freaking’ smart huh?
Well, its like this- Im sitting up in bed on a lovely stack of freshly laundered pillows with ye ol’ laptop steadily writing 15 SEO articles on auto radiators (due tomorrow!).
Ah yes, to the victor goes the spoils…