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The Importance of Nothing

In home life on November 13, 2008 at 2:31 am

To make my point in this post I’d like tell you a little about my life lately.

I have decided to take the plunge and move out of my family owned home into something bigger. I have a big family squeezed into a little house because my heart hurts when I think of having to leave the house where my mom lived. She died two years ago and this house keeps her close to me.
But I know its time to go. We found a great house not to far away with a rent that we can afford. We are waiting (not-so) patiently to hear word on our application.

I was recently promoted to editor with one of my clients and Ive gotten a butt load of new work piled on me to get done in a week. I have been working at it feverishly along with the first 25,000 of a nonfiction book I was contracted for.

Add to this a whole host of freelance queries, MOMS Club, school, and impending holiday preparations and that itself would be a whole heck of a lot.

But WAIT! There’s more…

Last night my father was rushed to the E.R. with what appears to be complications due to lymphoma. He is swollen and feverish and scaring the hell out of me.

Today, however, I learned the importance of nothing.

I was up at 3:30 am. coordinating who would be going to the hospital with whom and then something hit me.

I cant. I have to stop. Im done for a minute, guys. Count me out this round.

I felt a mixture of adrenaline and extreme fatigue. My heart was racing but I just wanted to lay down.

I volunteered to be the one to stay home and call the rest of the clan and pick children up from school, etc.

I sat on the couch with my three year old son and veg’ed out.

I never got dressed, ate biscotti and chocolate lattes until noon when I switched to a slice of cheecake and neopolitan ice cream ( I would go on but it only gets worse..)

I stayed under the covers on the sofa watching a marathon of Andrew McCarthy movies. I love Andrew McCarthy. I have loved him since Class when he did it with Jacquiline Bisset in the glass elevator.
His was the first bare male chest Id ever gazed at. He had that sweet little boy next door look. The kind of guy that would throw you those sweaty looks while he helped your mom bring the groceries in. (Plus he reminds me of Randy Ball from Indianapolis Pike High who my best friend told I had a crush. He offered me a piece of gum that is now a fossil in my memory chest) I watched him grow up today. Still a pretty hunky guy.

I felt drained to the bone emotionally. Mentally I could not focus. I needed to recharge. Down time.

I may have glanced at my laptop. But that was about it. I could not fathom the idea of work.
If I had of it would have been the worst crap that ever fell off my fingertips. That is, if I could’ve even shaken anything out.

I knew that. I didn’t even try. I did nothing. I didn’t feel guilty about it either.

Sometimes, we have to take a break and regroup. Take a mental inventory of your senses and make sure they are working correctly with all nerves firing off in sync.
Especially when you work at home.
Your in this little world of your own. You work here, you eat here, you sleep here, take care of your family here- LIVE HERE. It can all melt together and one day you realize that you haven’t spent a moment alone with your thoughts in 3 weeks.

Nothing is a valuable thing sometimes.

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  1. Wow! Sounds like you really needed. And GOOD FOR YOU for realizing it and DOING it!! Or not doing it. Whatever. 🙂

  2. I don’t work at home, but I definitely know how it feels to need to step back and regroup. I get burnt/blogged out, sometimes.
    Thanks for visiting! 🙂

  3. Great post and so true! Those moments/days of nothing can be a real blessing.

  4. Wow…sounds like you’re busy!

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