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Why do I torture myself?

In home life on May 16, 2008 at 10:35 pm
This boob lump is wearing me thin. After the mamo I felt better. After all, they told me that it was probably benign. That’s good, right. 
Wait that’s what they say when they don’t know for sure too, huh? So, Ive worried. Ive worried myself sick to be exact.

 

I broke down and went to see my old gyno just because I love and trust him immensely. 
He felt it and has decided that I definitely need to see the Breast Center in Nashville. 
So I get to worry for another few weeks. I shouldnt, I know. But I cant help it.

 

I try to work more to keep my mind off of it but I only find myself staring into space wondering if Ill be dieing in the near future.  
I think about stuff like this woman I saw on Montel once. S
he found out she was going to die of breast cancer before her daughter turned two. So she made a birthday recording for her daughter for 
every year of her life. Each video had age specific advice etc. 
I cried so hard when I watched that. 

 

Why do I torture myself? 
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